Official Merchandise
Dress for the merger you want, not the merger you got
Limited run. No returns. No refunds. No explanation for the pricing.
The Classic Tee
Black. Logo centred. The font is DM Serif Display, which our brand team selected after an exhaustive process that took forty minutes.
the Hargora
merger
this t-shirt and a
97-year vesting schedule
"I Survived the Merger" Tee
The back reads: "and all I got was this t-shirt and a 97-year vesting schedule." Runs small. Like the integration timeline.
Est. April 1, 2026
The Merger Day Hoodie
Forest green. Embroidered H on the chest. "Est. April 1, 2026" beneath, which is either aspirational or incriminating depending on your perspective.
are primary
The "Both HQs Are Primary" Mug
Ceramic. 12 oz. The other side says "I asked our innovation team what this means and they're scheduling a meeting to discuss scheduling a meeting about it."
The Sticker Pack
Six vinyl stickers. Includes the H mark, "Pls Fix," the 600× closing-day surge multiplier, "It Depends™," and one that just says r/legaltech. For laptops, water bottles, and the side of your firm's server rack.
AI legal platform*
The Conference Tote
Canvas. Fits a laptop, a conference lanyard, and the existential dread of attending another legal tech panel titled "The Future of [Thing That Already Happened]."
Firm-wide orders
Ordering for your entire practice group? Contact our enterprise merch team at
merch@hargora.com
(also unmonitored). Volume discounts apply. "Volume" is defined as "more than one" and the discount is "we will think about it."
All proceeds go toward maintaining r/legaltech and the rlegaltech500 — actual, useful things that exist year-round.
Frequently asked questions
Will this merch actually ship?
No. The cart doesn't exist. The warehouse doesn't exist. The supply chain is a single JSON file. But the intent to ship is very real, and in legal tech, intent is 90% of the work.
Why is a t-shirt $85?
Dynamic Grid-Surge Billing™ applies to all Hargora products, including apparel. You're actually getting a good deal — at peak hours this t-shirt was briefly $4,200.
Can I return it?
You cannot return what you never received. This is both a philosophical observation and our returns policy.
Is there Hargora merch for real?
This is an April Fools' joke by r/legaltech. But honestly, if enough people want a "I survived the Hargora merger" t-shirt, we could make that happen. DM u/alexdenne on Reddit.
Fine print
This merchandise does not exist. Hargora is not a real company. If you would genuinely like a Hargora t-shirt or sticker, message u/alexdenne on Reddit. If enough people ask, we might actually make some. The proceeds would go to something useful, like keeping the lights on at rlegaltech.com.